Mario and The Triforce
by Jonner
Summary: Mario begins his greatest journey yet. He soars through time and space with the final destination as being a place he would never have imagined in his wildest dreams or nightmares?: Hyrule.


MARIO'S TRIFORCE

Chapter 1

A Mysterious Vision

Running at super speed, with the wind slapping its cold endless hand against his face, Mario progressed through the valley of the great and mysterious Donut Plains. Coming quickly upon a goomba, one of the many stupid and rotten rebels of the Mushroom Kingdom, now a part of the great Koopa's army, he leapt above it and came thundering down onto its skull, crushing its body and face, and causing its innards to fly about in every direction. He felt no remorse for the naïve and now helpless soul that was corrupted by the evil that ran rampant throughout the land. He sprinted forward, jumping across the pits and obstacles that seemed to appear in front of him in a matter of seconds.

He ran for what seemed like hours, dodging bullets and crushing enemies without a second's hesitation. Coming upon a brick floating in the air, he noticed a crude engraving of what seemed to be a question mark in the middle. He did not need to wonder what it was, as he had encountered hundreds of them in the past. Jumping up, he met it violently with the top of his head, the only way that it would secrete its sweet insides. He grabbed the red-spotted mushroom that elevated out of it and consumed it quickly. Within a second, he could feel it affecting him, causing him to grow four or five times his normal height and giving him super-strength.

Just then, a giant fireball came spiraling towards him. He ducked, narrowly dodging its searing flame, but just as he raised his head, two more fireballs from opposite directions hit his torso. Screaming in pain, he attempted to run to safety, but several more fireballs came barreling towards him, leaving behind smoke and sparks. His entire body was engulfed in a burning pain he could never have imagined. As he felt his body withering into ashes, he saw one figure. A dark figure, riding on a black horse, with stark red hair and a giant sword. It was consumed in a purple haze, and he could hear its laugh, echoing along with the pain.

Just then, he heard a voice. A woman's voice.

"Mario-o-o-o! Mario! It's time to get up, Mario!"

The fire and smoke, along with the laughing figure dissolved quickly, being replaced by the blurry outline of the beautiful Princess Toadstool.

"Mamma mia, that was a spicy-a meat-a-ball-a of a dream-a," cried out Mario, in a stereotypical Italian accent.

"Well gosh, you were sweating and screaming, I was really worried for a second!" replied the Princess. "Look, your bed is completely drenched with sweat!"

"Why, my pretty little-a princess, that-a is-a not-a sweat-a that's-a urine!"

Not surprised by this fact, since this was the seventh or eighth time this happened, the princess gave Mario a kiss on the forehead, realized she had kissed a urine-soaked face, and ran into the bathroom so she could expel large amounts of vomit directly into the toilet.

"That's-a my-a princess-a!" exclaimed Mario.

CHAPTER 2

An Omen of a Flower…A FIRE FLOWER

The entire morning, Mario tried to forget about his nightmare, but it would creep its way into his thoughts, poisoning his focus and ruining his pants. Within the vast breakfast hall, he ate breakfast, a nice warm bowl of Bullet Bill soup. The hall was comprised of beautiful stained glass windows, long wooden tables, and a tile floor that stretched out across an area of over four acres. It was a mighty breakfast hall indeed. With his spoon in hand, and his nose above the soup, he carefully scanned the _Mushroom Kingdom Enquirer, _the kingdom's daily newspaper. His eyes drifted up to a headline that read, "Mysterious Laughter Heard From the Sky." Mario was so surprised that he spit out his soup. "Oh-a my-a gosh-a! Could-a this-a be-a the-a same-a laughter-a that-a I heard-a in-a my-a dream?" he cried.

Just then, he heard a knock on the door. Toad, his loyal servant and playmate, answered, and briefly talked to whoever it was at the entrance to the palace. Toad then shut the door and hurried into the breakfast hall.

"Master Mario, master Mario!"

"What-a is it, my loyal and obedient-a slave?"

"A…a…A TELEGRAM!" shouted Toad.

"Oh mi dios!" yelled Mario, as he briefly reverted back to his native language. He opened the telegram, and inside was a small flower, flattened by the envelope. Mario examined it closely, and decided that the best course of action would be to eat it. Placing his lips on the petals, he touched the tip of his tongue to the stem, and moved it very quickly to the petals, and soon to the entire flower. As his tongue and lips surrounded the flower, his jaws began to close tightly. His teeth grinded against the flower, causing it to break apart with the pointed ends of every single tooth, each incisor, canine or molar contributing in its own special way to the chewing process. He then opened his jaw once again, and repeated until the flower was turned into a mush, with much of its composition now including saliva and bacteria from Mario's unhygienic mouth. As Mario commenced the first steps of swallowing, he had an intense feeling of regret come over him. Something was telling him that he should not have eaten the flower. Before he could change his decision, however, he had already swallowed the mush, also called the bolus, and it began its journey through his esophagus. But, that's a different story, now isn't it? ;-)

CHAPTER 3

A Place Where Mario Has Never Been Before

The next thing Mario knew was that he couldn't see a thing, and that any thought or feeling that would instill any sense of what was going on was much too fleeting to have an effect. He had blacked out. He suddenly woke up in the middle of a field. The sun was beating on his face, his moustache hairs curling up from the heat. A figure suddenly walked past, briefly blocking out the sun. He sat up, now fully alert and aware that he was no longer in the Mushroom Kingdom with his princess and soiled pants. He looked around, and saw five obese men walking busily, with planks of wood over their shoulders. Behind them was a sixth obese man, yelling and muttering , pulling out his hair, and screaming obscenities. The carpenters, which is what Mario assumed the men to be, seemed to be milling back and forth, merely acting busy, and not doing much other than knocking small children down from brick walls and uttering inaudible words of hatred and disgust. Mario walked around for a while, exploring his brand new home, and wondering why his brand new home was not his other home. Just then, a young man clad in green and riding a great brown steed dashed towards him, stopping just before trampling him.

"MAMMA MIA, THAT'S-A A-A CRAZY-A HORSE-A!"

"…," the stranger replied.

"Oh, your name-a is Link-a, is it? Well that-a is a very heroic name-a! Would you mind explaining to me why exactly it is that I appeared suddenly in this world of yours? I come from the Mushroom Kingdom, which is nothing like this strange-a town-a."

"…" said Link.

"A portal? But why would I be sucked into a portal! It makes no sense. Indeed, the last thing I was doing before being transported here was consuming a flower! By all laws of science and physics, no action of that sort would cause a portal into a different universe!"

"!"

"Oh-a my-a, so-a you're-a saying-a that the flower-a that I consumed-a has something-a to do with it-a? Well-a, then-a Link-a, we must-a get to the-a bottom-a of this-a!"

Link nodded in agreement, and they set off across the vast field, into the sunset, ready to seek the answers that eluded them so.

STORY WILL BE CONTINUED LATER SO WAIT UP ;-D


End file.
